Don’t put your hope in 2019 or your partner – Counselor Adofoli

Stop putting all your hope in the New Year. There is nothing special about the New Year if you are going to repeat what you did in the previous year. You are not going to get married 2019 if you are still doing the very things that didn’t get you married the previous year.

Don’t put your hope in your new boyfriend or girlfriend because you met them at the 31st Watch Night Service, because you started the New Year with them. That is not a sign of a good year or that you will get married in the New Year.

You can break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, divorce your husband or wife but that does not guarantee you a good relationship in the New Year. You can cut contacts with them, block them, change your location or address, change your phone number, change your career or church but that won’t guarantee you a better relationship or marriage this New Year.

The problem is not the old people you leave and the solution is not the new people you meet. The problem and solution is you. It’s about you getting tired of doing things wrongly, wanting to do the best and becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about telling yourself enough is enough.

So instead of counting all the years you spent in a bad relationship and asking yourself why they didn’t get married to you, ask yourself how you got into such relationships in the first place. And if you are given the opportunity to redo things, what will be the right thing to do? Or what will you do differently?

Relationship is not magical, so don’t think meeting the perfect person will change everything. There is no Mr. or Ms. Perfect out there. If you have the mindset they exist, that is a big lie. You cannot get a perfect relationship; you cannot have a relationship without arguments. You cannot have a relationship without differences no matter the numerous things you have or share in common with your partner.

Nobody is just as you on this earth, as long as you and your partner are trying your best, or giving your best or all to the relationship, it will keep the relationship going. For your own good, before you start any relationship, learn to have the heart of humility to learn from everyone who comes your way. Don’t act as all knowing without learning from others.

Stay humble always; don’t feel offended when someone corrects you. Don’t feed your ego. That’s an enemy to great, beautiful and lasting relationships. People with ego issues have no relationship. They don’t just walk alone but they also suffer in life.

Learn to forgive people when they offend you, don’t hold the past against them. Learn to encourage them to become better. Learn to resolve issues rather than running away from them. Learn to look for solutions instead of an opportunity to blame, insult and call others names.

Exercise control over your tongue. Say words that will improve your relationship and not what will destroy it. Compliment your partner’s strengths instead of focusing on their weakness.

Know what you are looking for in a relationship before you start. Have a standard and plans in place. Don’t spend all your time on people who are not going the same direction with you, no matter how good they are or look.

Above all, put your hope in God, not in the New Year, but in the Creator of everything, the One who makes all things new. Trust His ways. Don’t focus on the past, your focus should be on the new things He is about to do in your life. Don’t live a life of regret because of the past. Live a life of gratitude for His keeps you alive because of His plans for you.

In conclusion, “The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent” – 2 Peter 3:9 (NLT).

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

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Source: Frank Edem Adofol