Just a few months after announcing their pregnancy, Lil Xan and his fiancée Annie Smith have revealed that Smith suffered a miscarriage. It was in a series of video posts and photos on Instagram that Smith penned an open letter to the couple’s unborn child.

“The moment i met you i knew you were special,” she wrote in an Instagram caption. “i fell head over heels in love with you and only love you more and more every single day. i didn’t know it was possible to feel this way about another human. starting a family with you has been the most magical, beautiful blessing God has given me. today i feel a hurt i never knew existed. a pain that comes from my soul. […] i wish you could’ve known how truly blessed you were to have a daddy like diego. we love you little angel.”