Paris Hilton Says Fear of Childbirth from Past Trauma Led Her to Use a Surrogate: ‘I’m So Scared’

For Paris Hilton, surrogacy made a major impact on her ability to start her family.

Speaking about the decision in Glamour UK’s recent digital issue, the new mom, 42, talked about turning to longtime friend Kim Kardashian for advice on in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and surrogacy.

“Kim told me about that as well,” she told the outlet about surrogacy. “I’m using the same doctor — Dr. Huang, who’s the best — and he has a concierge team that deals with everything and interviews the people [the surrogate] to make sure that they’re healthy.”

When asked about the choice and if it was related to her age, the “Stars Are Blind” singer said she’d have chosen to use a surrogate at any age.

She then related that decision back to the sexual abuse she says she experienced at a Utah boarding school, Provo Canyon School, during her 11 months there at age 16.

“Sleep-deprived & heavily medicated, I didn’t understand what was happening,” Hilton wrote of the alleged sexual abuse on Twitter in October. “I was forced to lie on a padded table, spread my legs & submit to cervical exams. I cried while they held me down & said, ‘No!’ They just said, ‘Shut up. Be quiet. Stop struggling or you’ll go to Obs.’ ”

Hilton explained to Glamour UK that when it comes to the medical exams related to pregnancy, “I’m just so scared. I think, again, leading back to Provo of even being in a doctor’s office, just all of that. The shots, the IVs that they put in.”

“When I was in The Simple Life, I had to be in a room when a woman was giving birth, and that traumatized me as well,” the former reality star added. “But I want a family so bad, it’s just the physical part of doing it. I’m just so scared … childbirth and death are the two things that scare me more than anything in the world.”

The businesswoman and husband Carter Reum welcomed their first baby together, son Phoenix Barron Hilton Reum, via surrogate last month.

“It’s always been my dream to be a mother and I’m so happy that Carter and I found each other,” the new mom told PEOPLE exclusively. “We are so excited to start our family together and our hearts are exploding with love for our baby boy.”

[via]