Selena Gomez on Why Her Final Justin Bieber Breakup Led Her to Dump Instagram Too

Selena Gomez was the most followed woman on Instagram when she deleted the app and gave control of her account to an assistant in 2018. In a new interview with Fast Company, Gomez explained that her final breakup with Justin Bieber in spring 2018, after their 8-year on-off romance, led her to dump Instagram too.

Bieber, of course, started dating his now-wife Hailey Bieber just months after, in June 2018. They got engaged a month later, and then married in September 2018.

Gomez recalled her headspace at the time: “I had just gotten my heart broken. I didn’t need to see what everyone was doing,” she said. “Then there were those moments of not feeling positive about how I looked because of what I’d see on Instagram. Wow, I wish my body looked like that.”

Selena Gomez

She explained having her own body change also impacted how she viewed herself. Before, she’d “had a teenager’s body,” she said. And now, “none of the sample sizes were fitting, and that would make me feel embarrassed. Although how unrealistic is it to expect a normal woman’s body not to change?”

At the same time, Gomez was navigating her own mental health. In 2018, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Two years later, she shared her diagnosis publicly on Miley Cyrus’ Bright Minded Instagram Live show.

Initially, Gomez worried about the consequences of sharing her mental health struggles and condition. “I grew up being a people pleaser,” she said. “I had a responsibility at a very young age—young people were looking up to me. I didn’t know who I was. Having that responsibility would make me walk on eggshells a lot. I thought maybe it would be damaging to tell people who I am. It started to become a threat that freaked me out. Well, if you’re not right, then you can’t work.”

She reflected on the time just before she was diagnosed: “I went through a really hard season [then]. It was my highs and my lows, and I didn’t know what to do, so I couldn’t control it. I would want to cancel things. It was just a tormented feeling. That’s why, when I found out my diagnosis, it was just, ‘Oh, okay, I feel a bit relieved, I understand a bit more.’ I got second opinions. I went to doctors. I’m fortunate enough to be able to have people who can help me survive every day.”

As a celebrity now, Gomez puts herself in a different category than stars like Beyoncé and Adele. “I’m not unattainable,” she said of herself generally. “I look at someone like a Beyoncé, and I am amazed. My jaw drops. Every part of her is just impeccable, and it’s just so beautiful. I went to her show and was blown away. But I’m just not that, and that’s okay. I’m me, and I’m a little silly, but I also like being sexy and fun, and I also want to do good with the time I have here. We need goddesses like Beyoncé and Adele. But I’m just happy to be your best friend.”